So, about a month ago, when I started trying to pick out a paint color for the office and figure out what we were going to do for a desk, etc.... my husband told me that he would like to have (and I quote) a "wall of awesome" for himself. No, I'm not kidding. This wall of awesome would include many of the various plaques and certificates that my in-laws saved for my husband over the years and recently returned to him. You would think that would include his college diploma, but since that was left in an unsealed box in the detached garage at the rental house we were living in... it's covered in mold. (We'll be ordering a new one) ... However... the plaque that my husband received for winning first place in a WATERMELON SEED SPITTING contest in the Cub Scouts remains in pristine condition. If only I had KNOWN he was an award winning watermelon seed spitter, I may have gone out with him for the first time sooner than I did! I don't know why he held that information back!
Okay, so I agreed to give him a small strip of wall in the office for his "wall of awesome" because I'm a nice person... and because all other design decisions in our house have been up to me... Soooooo as long as I'm doing this, I figured I should fix this cute hand print plaque that he made when he was five years old.
The top corner was completely broken off, and the side was partially broken, but still hanging on.
So, I rummaged around on the workbench in the garage for some super glue. I found an opened box with 6 tubes.
Mistake #1: Assuming none of the tubes were opened
I was smart enough not to use the glue on our counter tops, so I put a pile of paper underneath. I didn't consider using gloves because a) we don't have any and b) I saw NO REASON that I would have to touch the glue. After a few seconds of holding the tube (and NOT squeezing it yet) my fingers felt funny... then I noticed THAT particular tube had been opened and the glue was oozing out around the cap. I dropped the tube on the paper and ...
Mistake #2: Rubbed my fingers together
...rubbed my middle finger and my thumb together... why did I do that? WHO KNOWS!!! How dumb could I be! They briefly stuck TOGETHER... but I was able to get them apart. However, the top of two of my fingernails were glued to my skin and the tips of my fingers and thumbs were shriveled, hard and white.... coated in the glue.
So, with my left hand I did the next rational thing... I Googled "How to get super glue off your skin." Everything I read told me to soak my fingers in nail polish remover. Which I did. This released my nails from my skin... but my fingertips... not so much. Still shriveled, hard and white.
So, then I realized that the plaque was now secured to the paper... as was tube of glue. When I tried to remove the paper, it ripped the cracked part of the plaque completely off.
So, I got myself a new, UN-OPENED tube of super glue, took the plaque and broken pieces outside, glued it together without setting it down on anything.... and then set it in the sun on its non-glued side on our grill to dry.
And now it's fixed. I'm crossing it off my list. Who knows how long this stuff is going to stay on my fingers!!!!!!!!
I feel that I must comment for the sake of clarification and in defense of the WOA.
ReplyDeleteFirst, Michael Jordan has an entire hall at Nike Headquarters that displays his accomplishments and provides him a little ego boost when he needs it. The WOA is my scaled-down version of this idea to buoy my spirits.
Second, Colleen neglected to tell you that the WOA is on the left side of the wall that contains the French doors to the study, with an approximate area of 20 inches wide by 8 feet high-MY WALL OF AWESOME IS NOT EVEN AN ENTIRE WALL!!!
Third, she is a wonderful wife and amazing mother to Andy, and I appreciate her taking the time to fix my hand plaque. I love her. And that's why Colleen is getting her very own Wall of Awesome on the other side of the door where she can display her recent medal from the San Diego half-marathon AND her non-moldy college degree.
Hopefully you blogreaders are now more on board with the WOA, and maybe want one for yourself or loved one. Colleen will have a future post detailing the steps taken to construct your very
WOA, so stay tuned...
Matt
P.S. If you ever find yourself in a Watermelon Seed-Spitting Competition, here are some pointers on how to bring home the gold (or plaque, in my case):
1) Most Important: Store the seeds in your mouth. Most competitors will hold them in their hand, which dries them out and doesn't give you the necessary lubrication for them to slide across the floor. Guaranteed to increase your distance by an extra 2 feet.
2) Use your hips and legs. Step into the spitting using your hips and legs to provide a decent snap of your head forward while you spit.
3) Keep your eyes on the Prize. Too many competitors keep their eyes closed. Mentally focus on where you want the seed to land.
4) Go last, if possible. That way you can see what distance you have to beat, and nobody will steal your technique.
5) Higher is not better. Optimum angle seems to be where the seed's highest point is about 2 feet above your head, with no wind.
Are you serious with this??!!! You are so funny! That is longest comment ever! Yes, I will post pictures of your "Wall of Awesome" when it's done ... but first I need to finish that desk! :-)
ReplyDeleteMust be a slow morning at work for you....
Matt, in the military we call it the "I Love Me" wall. Steve doesn't have one here, but I actually made him one in the back room of our basement in Cape Cod. Hmmm... a little out of the way??
ReplyDelete